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NCAA Announces “dance-off” to determine seeds

In the age of Covid, a lot has changed in the wrestling world. 

The season has started later….tournaments have been reduced and eliminated…thus top competitors are meeting less often on the mat.  As a result, the seeding process for NCAA Nationals has also undergone a major shakeup.

The NCAA, in its all-knowing, all innovative ways, has found a unique method for determining seeds for the biggest stage – the National Championship.

This season, wrestlers will participate in a dance-off – socially distanced from each other and the judges, of course – with the top performers being awarded the highest seeds.

Many competitors were visibly animated over the novelty of the new seeding format, as this reporter noted from interviews.

“Yeah.  A dance-off.  Wonderful," sniffed one anonymous competitor while struggling to hide his enthusiasm.

So you think I can dance?  Well dance on Thi….” Screamed another obviously elated competitor before being quickly muzzled and escorted out of the interview room.

 Still another wept softly in uncontrollable happiness.

The judges for the event have been chosen.

Judge #1

Grumpy Pin Machine Master Wade Schalles was the first judge to be announced.  

Yup.  The wrestling world has done it again.  Where’s our leadership?  He bemoaned.  When asked why he agreed to participate in a plan he so obviously dispised, he muttered, Social media presence, y’all.  I have a blog to promote.

Judge #2

Dan Gable.  I lost in rock-paper-scissors or Chuck Norris wold be up here, he sniffed.

Judge #3

Carrie Ann Inaba.  Because, well, somebody on that panel has to know something about dancing.

The Missing Burroughs channels his Chuck Norris (Part 3 of 3)

The Great Jordan Burroughs was found safe and sound, dragging the limp lifeless body of a nasty slimy arachnid behind him.

When questioned by a Wrestlers Corner reporter about how he escaped and defeated the beast, Burroughs breathlessly exalted,

“After I made it throw up, I had to go all Chuck Norris on that thing, using my patented double (he didn’t have much of a stance so I was able to forge a comeback), and throwing in a few roundhouse Norris kicks as well.”

“What's the best part about being free from its grasps?  Asked the bravely intrepid yet slightly naive reporter.

“Best Part?  I looked up at the beautiful landscape and realized something magnanimous….”

“I was no longer in Washington, DC.”

“Also that I ripped that Magicman shirt he was wearing to shreds during the fight.”

Randy

PS:  If you missed the first two episodes, well – sorry for the spoiler.  You can view all three in my new Wrestlers Corner blog.

Burroughs resurfaces and then…

Following Monday’s shocking events, where the great Jordan Burroughs was swallowed whole by a large hairy, ugly, slime-covered arachnid monster wearing a “Magicman” shirt, the wrestling world has searched near and far for him, and his eater, to no avail….

Until NOW.

A shaken and thoroughly slimed Burroughs was spotted in Washington, DC.

When the (virtual) crowd spotted him, meyhem ensued.

Everyone was pointing and shouting and jumping up and down in excitement!” observed an observant observer who asked to not be identified by name due to his association with Wrestlers Corner, that Fake Wrestling News site.

Then, just as shockingly…

Burroughs saw 20,000 armed guards…

And leapt back into the arachnid’s mouth, which promptly scampered back into the woods that don’t exist around Washington.

Part 3 coming soon…

Jordan Burroughs swallowed whole by large arachnid monster

Jordan Burroughs swallowed whole by large arachnid monster

In sad wrestling news, the great Jordan Burroughs was swallowed whole by a large arachnid creature that can only be described as a Bigfoot-like monster-Spider.  Or monster-ant.

It was really hard to tell because witnesses, all visibly hung over, were overwhelmed by the incredible grotesqueness of the creature, thus weren’t able to give a clear description.

In addition, all pictures of the event came out blurry.

One witness, we’ll call him John because his name was Amy, said this:  

We were mat side at the Flo Wrestling event he was in.  Right after the match, Jordan, dejected, stumbled down the hallway.  Being the rapid fans that we are (heck, we broke into a closed event, what does that say about us?), we followed him.  

 

Right then, out from a side door pops this large grotesque spider – or ant, we weren’t sure – with about 18 eyeballs and fur and slime all over its body – and it picks up Jordan Burroughs, and tosses him kicking and screaming into its mouth.

It makes one big GULP, turns and runs away.

That’s when we noticed the back of its t-shirt,  which read “Magicman.”

The search is on for the arachnid, as well as a swallowed Jordan Burroughs.

We will update you on this channel as soon as more is known.

Ants launch wrestling program, prepare to take over the earth

With the world imploding, ants prepare to make their move.

Combined with their built-in resistance to Covid-19, ants of the world have united, and are preparing their takeover….by launching a wrestling program.

“Hear us out.  Wrestlers are the toughest, most prepared combat troops on earth.  Look – most of the humans’ Navy Seels are wrestlers.  We see a unique opportunity but we must be prepared.”

The ants plan on invading “as soon as the dust clears” and expect to quickly take over the earth.

Everything is going to change – most things for the better (if you’re an ant.)

  • Government will be less responsive (actually, will barely exist
  • Covid won’t be a factor (we’re immune – hooray!)
  • No more taxes!
  • No more wars (although we still have to contend with the Red ants – wow do they have an attitude.

On the downside….Junk mail is still expected to arrive regularly.

Thank you to veterans everywhere

 

Today is a  day to give thanks to those in this country who kept us all safe and continue to do so.

Thank you to your service to our country, and for defending us both far and near.

My dad was a veteran – he served in the Korean War.

 

He ended up training sentry dogs even though his education was in chemical engineering.  A few years before he passed, he and my brother went out west to meet with the Canine Unit that served over 50 years ago.  He met up with some folks he hadn’t seen since the war ended.

Lets all take a moment to thank our Veterans.  Without them we wouldn’t have our freedom.

Randy

Dear America: FIX the election process
Dear America:   FIX the election process

Well here we are, another election year, and another batch of states results lingered until days after the votes have been cast.  This time around, however, the states in question, weighed heavily in the outcome.

When this happens, it leads to the biggest issue of all – far bigger than who actually wins:

People start to distrust the elections

Our country was built our every-citizen’s-vote-counts democracy.  It is the glue that holds our union together.

Regardless of who wins…

The belief that the results are accurate, is far more important.  Once that erodes, doubt ensues, and cracks emerge in our democracy – and that is happening now.

If people think the election is being stolen, they question whether our democracy is real.

And many may consider taking matters into their own hands.

Protests resulting from presidential elections have been rare in this country, no matter how hotly contested the race – until NOW.

This MUST be fixed – and fixed immediately.

There is simply no excuse for anyone to doubt our election results again.

Today, I implore the leaders of this country to FIX the election process, once and for all.

Here’s how:

  1. ALL ballots – Mail-in, overseas, provisional, etc.  need to arrive by election day.   There’s no excuse for this not happening. People can plan ahead and mail them in with enough time for them to arrive by Election Day.  To make it even easier for poll workers, an early voting postmark deadline, such as 3 or 4 weeks before the election, could be mandated.
  2. All States should start counting mail in ballots prior to election day.   This is what Ohio does, and Florida, and a ton of other states that were not in the spotlight after Election Day.  This should be universal.
  3. Every state should get its act together and complete the counting of all ballots on Election Day.   Its not unreasonable to expect the counting of ballots to be completed within a few hours of the polls closing.  Many states already accomplish this without issue.
  4. No dead people can vote (Yes, I'm talking to you, Chicago).    Each state should have its voter rolls updated prior to elections, and the verification process should ensure that people who vote, are who they say they are.
  5. Committing voter fraud, hacking the system, etc, should be an impossibility.  A study uncovered a startling fact:  a number of voting machines were connected to the internet leaving the opportunity open for fraud.
  6. Voters should have 100% confidence that votes are being counted correctly, and that fraud is not present.  In 2020, poll watchers are permitted to have access to ensure a fair election.  However, issues arose and some poll watchers have claimed they were denied access. to the counting of ballots.  The Pandemic was a factor – the 6 feet rule made this more challenging…but it shouldn't have.  In this, the 21st century, cameras are everywhere, for crying out loud.  There's no excuse to not have the process be recorded so all sides can see the proof with their own eyes (cameras would not be on people while they are voting, of course).

The biggest obstacle to making the above a reality

Here's the rub:  each state has the authority to set its own rules about elections.

Some allow mail-in votes to be counted ahead of the election, some require they be counted on Election Day.

Some vary on how electoral votes are earned. Two states – Maine and Nebraska – award one electoral vote each to a single precinct.

The voting machines, write in process, etc can all differ from state to state, and sometimes even precinct to precinct.

I'm certainly not advocating a loss of states' rights….'

But a leader would be able to bring the powers that be in the states, to set standards of operations that would benefit the nation as a whole, and solve some of the big issues we currently face with our election process.

In my opinion, it is vitally important that this happens.

Time will tell whether or not we have leaders in office who will take up the challenge of fixing this mess.

Randy

Who I voted for and why it doesn’t matter
Who I voted for and why it doesn’t matter

Last night in the room, a few wrestlers asked me who I voted for in the Presidential Election.

Several of them had major concerns if the wrong candidate won, such as:

  • Our rights will be taken away
  • Our property will be taken away
  • Our country will be in ruins!

My response:

Whoever wins is not likely to greatly affect your life.  Certainly, one's policies can and do affect people’s lives (case in point, me having to install 3 different ADA-approved showers in my locker room due to over-reaching regulations.  Yeah, that was fun.)

For the most part, though, the person who has the greatest impact on your life, and on your successes or failures – is you.

A politician can do little to stop you, if you are bent on success.

So, sit back, root for your favorite candidate – and relax.

And, prepare to continue to do your thing – most of the time they really can't stop your path to success.

I’m opening up new training – its a short-term program, but you can read all about it here.

Randy

No napping on the freeway
No napping on the freeway

While I was waiting for my clocks to change to the correct time by flipping themselves backwards by an hour, I stumbled across this interesting article:

They keep packing them in.
They keep packing them in.

Here’s where I’m at a crossroads with much of the wrestling community.

While a pandemic rages on across the country…

And hospitals are nearing capacity in many places…

Some wrestling trainers have kicked their doors wide open, and they keep packing them in like Covid-19 never happened, with nary a health protocol in place.

Wherever you stand on the Covid issue, there’s a big problem with proceeding in a haphazard, irresponsible way, like many trainers are doing out there.

As the numbers creep higher across the country, we are fast approaching another shutdown – meaning, merely weeks before the start of wrestling practice, the shuttering of the 2020-21 season.

Regardless of your stance on the issue, it won’t be you that makes the decision.  It will be health boards and elected officials.

Those who are acting irresponsibly – packing in their gyms with kids from all over, with little to no regard for health protocols,  are selfishly contributing to the problem and greatly increasing the likelihood that our wrestling season will be cancelled.

Higher numbers of covid-19 cases mean we all risk suffering through another shutdown, and this next one is likely to rob our young people of the opportunity to compete.

This is why I drastically revamped my training program and packed my training room full of strict health protocols to keep wrestlers and their parents, friends, etc., as safe as possible.

ACE looks a lot different this season as a result. 

Groups of 4-7 kids instead of the usual big crowd.  

And since I’ve recently received inquiries about available training, I am opening up a few more opportunities – on a very limited basis.

These training opportunities will take place on Monday and Wednesday.

Health protocols will mirror our ACE protocols.

We will have room for groups of 2, 3 or 4 (no solos, and you have to have a partner).

It is, in a sense, personal training.

Your first step is to go here, read the info and email me.  I don’t have a form yet and spots will be filled by invitation only, after I receive your email.

Go here now to read all about it.

Randy